I call this article 12 Practical Ways to Live a Peaceful Life because ideally, we all want to live a peaceful life, but often times it escapes us. We know that there’s peace that the Lord has freely gifted us as a result of Jesus dying on the cross for our sins (John 14: 27). The promise of eternity and a new life in Jesus Christ keeps us grounded like nothing else. Then there’s the peace we have to strive to keep (Hebrews 12:14) because so many things, including other people, try to take away it from us.
The secret to perpetually living peaceful life is not in stress relief lotion from your favorite fragrance store or on a beautiful, exotic island far away from home. The answer lies in waking up each morning and making a decision to protect your peace at all costs. You may ask “if it starts with a decision, what do I do next?” I’ll give you 12 ways you can take back control of your life and enjoy a life of contentment and hope. This is isn’t an exhaustive list, but it will get you moving in the right direction and motivate you to keep being intentional about the quality of your life.
You can’t live a peaceful life without having some sense of happiness, so essentially this post is a recipe for happiness. These 12 ways to stay peaceful are in no particular order but number one might surprise you. You’ve been warned.
“Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.” — Hebrews 12:14
1) Don’t Chase Sales
I am talking about retail sales here, but this could mean any opportunity that claims that you have to act right away. One day at the mall, I started pulling on my husband’s arm to turn around. We passed a sign that read HUGE SALE. One of my favorite stores was having a “limited-time” only sale. He resisted me and said “sales will always be there.” My shoulders relaxed at that revelation. He was so right. Retail stores will never stop trying to lure you, and opportunities will always come.
You might not have realized it until now, but, as humans, we tend to always look for the next big thing. We fall for any type of marketing strategy that promises to make us happy. Instead of being proactive in knowing what our needs are, sometimes like a dog that sees a squirrel, we react. Don’t run yourself crazy trying to keep up. It’s okay to wait. There’s always something trying to distract us, and if we’re not careful we’ll get hooked every time.
2) Don’t Talk Bad About Others
I can be guilty of this at times but I try to stay out of anything that sounds like gossip. In the Bible, 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12 says “aspire to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business, and to work with your own hands…that you may walk properly toward those who are outside, and that you may lack nothing.” What I get from this scripture is that when we avoid speaking bad about a person or judging them with our mouths, we can approach them with genuineness and the love of Christ.
When our vision is clouded by ill-will towards another person and we assume the worst, we are unable to see how we can love them. When we gossip, we walk towards people in anxiety instead of peace because we are scared that what we said might have gotten back to them. Avoid gossip, and assume the best of others. Its tempting to “vent” to family and friends, but the practice of controlling your mouth gives you inexplicable peace in your soul.
3) Make Quick Decisions
I will talk more about this later in another post but to sum it up, try not to sit on issues for too long. According to Psychology Today, we make about 35,000 decisions a day. Instead of going back and forth many times in your head over one issue, quickly assess what is best for you and what is best for your family, then come to a decision. This applies to the many, small decisions we have to make everyday.
When you ruminate over issues for too long, you either stress yourself out or you don’t act at all, which prevents you from moving forward in your day. To have confidence in your decisions, go with the choice that gives you the most peace. Being indecisive about the smallest things is a sign that you may be unstable in other areas of your life (James 1:8). For bigger decisions, like ones that affect your personal finances, don’t make a decision right away. Give yourself an extra night of sleep and pray on it. Remember, choose whatever gives you the most peace.
“And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful.” — Colossians 3:15
4) Pray Before Everything
We’ve all heard the famous scripture “worry about nothing, pray about everything ” (Philippians 4:6-7). But do we do that? We need to. Specifically, we should pray before we do something if we have the opportunity to do so. Prayer gets us ready for what we are about to face and it helps us avoid doing things we might regret later. And regret definitely feels nothing like peace.
Here are examples in my life of praying about everything: I pray before I get out my car when I pick my step-daughter up from school. I ask God to bless our time together and to help me speak to her in a way that is best for her and meets her needs. I also pray while the phone is ringing when I’m calling someone by asking God to help us have a fulfilling conversation. Pray before anything that causes you discomfort or anxiety. You don’t have to wait until things happen to you; be proactive in prayer.
5) Assess Your Feelings
I’ve been talking to myself for years now. Plus I respond to myself. Does that make me crazy? Maybe. I like to ask myself “Are you ok?” Sometimes the answer is “yes, I’m just tired.” Other times the response is “I wish that situation would have gone a little differently.” This will help you to get in tune with your feelings at any given moment. It’s important that you know what is going on inside of you, so that you can take care of yourself right away. When you assess your feelings, you’ll get a sense that you are one with yourself.
As women, often times we have a lot of feelings but we don’t know how to name them, much less how to deal with them. When you talk to yourself like your own best friend, you are able to see problems more clearly and deal with them quicker. From moment to moment, make sure you are doing okay by looking inwardly, then doing what you need to do to feel better or to rectify the situation.
6) Say I Can’t
I’ve heard so many people complain that they do so much for other people, and do not receive from others in return. As much as that hurts, we have to face the reality that over-serving is something we have control over. Continue being the helpful, loving person that you are but without wearing yourself out. If someone asks you to do something that will be too taxing on your energy or time, kindly decline. Do not feel like you have to be at every event or say yes to every plea. I once had a fear of missing out, but I am happier now that I am picky about what I commit to. Don’t take this as an excuse to be selfish, but like the mom on the airplane, put your mask on first.
7) Have Clean Fun
Laughter is like medicine to the soul. Everyone has their own definition of fun. Whether it’s going to the movie theaters with a group of friends or staying in alone to read your favorite novel. Maybe you enjoy traveling to different cities or hosting game nights at your house. Seek to do things that make you happy. Avoid activities that leave you feeling guilty or empty when it’s over. Schedule fun things to do often. I enjoyed taking late night bike rides and watching foreign movies by my myself when I was single. These activities added to my energy and self-love. Do not let anyone dictate what fun should look like for you. When your mind is occupied by something you enjoy doing, there is less room for worrying.
8) Read the Bible
This one probably should have been number one. But hey, instead I decided to address store sales first. None the less, we are here. As you read the Bible, you are changing on the inside whether you feel it or not. Months later when you look over your life you will notice how much you have grown and how much the Word has kept you from dangerous things. The Word of God is alive, so it has to grow in you. It does a number on your soul when you read it with purpose and understanding from God.
As you learn more about the ways of God and how much He loves you, you feel assured that everything is going to be ok . You will also begin to see the bigger picture of your life, as opposed to hyper-focusing on every problem you face. When my Pastor first got saved, he read 50 chapters of the Bible a day to keep his mind off girls. The Bible is a power tool for personal growth as well as keeping you from sin which causes death, not peace.
9) Always Be Thankful
Whatever you are going through, be thankful. God is working all things out for your good anyways. And your trials and tribulations are only building your character and patience (James 1:2). In Colossians 3:15, it reads “let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.” Praise God with a grateful heart, letting Him know that you are grateful for everything He has done for you. Tell Him that you trust Him because all good things come from Him. Gratefulness gives you peace and reminds you that the tough situation you are currently in, is only temporary; you still have a good life. Take the time to appreciate the small things that actually matter a lot. When you are frustrated, count your blessings one by one.
10) Meditate
Not only should we keep our mind on positive things in our life, we should also meditate on the truth God and the Words of the Bible. Meditating conditions our mind to know God, the peace-giver. This will be especially beneficial when it seems like everything is falling part around you. If you know who God is and you have a practice of keeping your mind on Him, you’ll find that your heart reacts differently to things. “Whatever things are true, noble, just, pure, lovely, of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.” Philippians 4:8
11) Give Way to People
Now hold up, don’t hate me here. Yes, I am saying make lots of room for others. But I am not saying let people run all over you. However, being a “door mat” is a term the world loves to use when people let others win too often. But when we esteem others higher than ourselves in light of God’s infinite wisdom and love, we reap the benefits of avoiding strife and avoiding drama. We will encounter disagreements with people all the the time, but drama doesn’t always have to be the end result. Drama takes away from our peaceful life.
Confident women do not have to win arguments to prove their worth. Be wise: be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger (James 1:19). Letting people walk all over you because you are scared is different from showing the love of Christ intentionally. If it is in your power, control the tone of your voice and let others have a say, and yes, sometimes, just let them win.
Romans 12:18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.
12) Rest/Take Care of Your Body
We love others better when we are well-rested. You are more sensitive to people’s needs and less things bother you when you feel good in your body. You are sweeter and more in tune with your surroundings when your mind is rested. Always seek to get rest and seek better ways to care of your body. Before you go above and beyond to take care of other people, you need to make sure you are operating on an optimal level yourself- this is called self-care. We can all get by with minimal rest, but that’s it—we get by. We are made to thrive, not just survive. There’s more on the other side of rest and health.
Type “Prayer” in the comments if you need prayer for your health. I have been there. It is not easy when you want to do great things but your body or
mental health wont let you.
The only thing that should be dictating your life is peace. When you become intentional about protecting it, you will find yourself actually living it perpetually. Stop whatever you are doing and look for ways you can make more room in your life for peace. What areas of your life are currently chaotic and what can you do to turn that around?
You are worthy with or without a wedding ring, Shawandie