In today’s world everyone and their momma has a social media account. Around the world, over 3 billion people use social media and that number is steadily rising. Having access to snippets of people’s lives, make it hard for us not to compare our lives. Social media has become a huge part of our day to day living so we need to quickly learn that ‘what you see is not always what you get’.
According to socialmediatoday.com, the number of hours people are spending on social media is increasing, too. The average person spends over 2 hours on social media everyday. That was in 2017. Since the pandemic, according to a survey of U.S. social media users, some have logged in an additional 1–2 hours per day. And what are they doing on it? I’m sure you know — scrolling, commenting, judging, passing time. Social media platforms are doing everything in their power to draw you in and keep you on line. From louder advertisements to suggesting “relevant” content, they don’t make it easy for us to control ourselves, do they? So, is social media bad for you as a Christian?
Social Media is Complicated
The days of posts that simply said “on my way to my last class” are long gone. Now we see the perfect color-coordinated families, at-home choreographed dance videos, faces of women (and men) putting on gala-worthy makeup just for fun. There are two extremes on social media: People are either exuding excitement or expressing grave disappointments. So when we see people so happy and perfect, it’s easy to get jealous.
Even when I post a video of me and my “perfect” family laughing and having fun playing around, I most likely will not mention that we were just laying around the house a few minutes ago, borderline depressed about going back to work or school the next day. Or that my husband and I just finished arguing. With that said, we cannot compare our lives based on what we see on social media outlets. That’s easier said than done (I know by experience). Feelings of jealousy, unworthiness, overwhelm, and anxiousness can all be triggered by what we overly exposed ourselves to on social media.
If I could sit down with any young lady who is obsessed over getting married or sad about how “slow” her life is moving, I would remind her that Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, TikTok, etc are just snapshots of people at their extreme highs and lows. We can’t let social media affect us in a way that brings us down, holds us back, and makes us sad. And if it does any of these things, get off. It might feel like someone is holding your head, and making you look and scroll, but truth is, no one is. Take back control.
Get Off
If you are feeling insignificant and like everyone has it all together except you, link up with God. He wants you to take a break from this noisy world so that He can encourage you and show you how much He loves you. Walk away from Facebook and into a place where God is telling you who you are to Him, gem. In a world where everyone is fighting to appear significant, you need to know that you matter in this world (no matter what your life looks like right now).
In 2012, I deactivated my Facebook and Twitter to do some soul searching. After a year, I got back online to share my testimony on Facebook. Boldly (and fearfully), I proclaimed what happened to me while I was away. I told everyone how I got delivered from insecurities, self-doubt, and immorality. I came back a new person, so refreshed and with a new point of view of God.
As I caught up on what was going on in my feed, I began to cry (which I hardly ever do by the way) They were happy tears. I found that an old colleague was getting married to a Christian man. I wouldn’t have cared a year earlier but now I was genuinely happy for her. Before my social media break, I would have judged them or nonchalantly acknowledged their engagement post and kept scrolling.
Guard Your Heart
This world is filled with so many people telling you how to feel, what to care about, who to hate and it will drive you mad. You can get lost in that spiral really fast until your soul is sucked out. I talk more about my personal experience with this in my Journey to Wholeness Journal.
In Every Young Woman’s Battle by Shannon Ethridge and Stephen Arterburn, it says that if you guard your mind from the messages of social media, “you’ll also be guarding your heart and life as well.”
Do not let social media tell you what age you should be married by or even that there is no point in getting married. What does God say?
God is telling you that where you are right now is okay. He will work with you right there.
Not long after I became a Christian, my boyfriend and I broke up. Usually, I would have fought for “love”, but this time I didn’t fight because I was becoming content in Christ. I believed that if God wanted me to stay in that relationship, He would tell me. But I wasn’t going to chase it on my own. I was no longer afraid of being single.
My heart felt okay for the first time in a long time, because I started practicing the art of guarding it. That means, I was careful about what I allowed myself to see and hear and where I allowed myself to go. If anything looked unhealthy or sinful, I did my heart and mind a favor and stayed away. Is social media or your electronic device an unhealthy space for you? If so, you’ll love this book 12 Ways Your Phone is Changing You by Tony Reinke.
Being Single is OK
Be assured that being single can be a blessing, just as much as being married can be a blessing. But you have to put in the work to make your relationship status a blessing. Your main purpose is not to find a mate but to take advantage of your singleness by focusing your life on God. Don’t focus on God so you can become more perfect for your future spouse; focus on Him for the sole purpose of just knowing Him (period). Everything including marriage (if that’s your desire) will fall into place once you commit to the Lord.
1 Corinthians 7:32 says “But I would have you without carefulness (without worry). She that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how she may please the Lord.”
Don’t focus on God so you can become more perfect for your future spouse; focus on God for the sole purpose of just knowing Him.
God has a plan for you and has deemed you worthy (a wedding ring is not required). It’s just a matter of getting quiet and shutting things out (or shutting your phone down) to hear Him say it to you. It’s hard to hear Him when we are busy looking into other people’s lives.
Social media is not inherently a bad thing. I love the mental outlet it provides, and I love that it helps me to stay connected with my Gems and family and friends. But we can’t let social media be our main source of judging who we are.
Share this post, if you think it can help someone.
Would you say you have a healthy or unhealthy relationship with social media? Has it ever made you feel insignificant? Would you benefit from taking some time away from it to assess your life?
Love you Gem,
Shawandie
G.E.M.S- Godly Women Enjoying the Magnificence of Singleness