In this post we will talk about 6 unusual reasons why I kiss my husband. If you find yourself over-romanticizing marriage as a single woman, later we will discuss how to be content with your current relationship status.
I will always believe that my husband is perfect. Before you roll your eyes, what I mean is, he is perfect for me. I have a man that pursued me, even when I didn’t want him back. And now that we are married, he fights for his marriage even harder. I never feel like I’m in this thing alone.
I needed someone like him — someone who easily shares his feelings, someone who’s quick to warm up to strangers, someone who’s light-hearted, and someone who doesn’t mind cleaning the kitchen (can I get an amen) — because sometimes I can be the opposite of those things. He balances me out very well and I balance him.
But we’re very much imperfect and that’s the reason we kiss… a lot. Marriage is a job I am committed to, but it’s a job, nonetheless. The relationship people see on the outside takes a lot of work behind closed doors. I want to address jealousy towards happy couples because what you see is not always what you get.
6 Reasons Why We Kiss
Memorial Weekend 2018, hubs and I spent the day at a water park in Orlando, FL with one other couple. While there, I must have peck-kissed my husband a million times. It made me wonder what people think when they see couples showing affection towards each other. A kiss does not always mean ‘you’re the best and I’m the best and we’re perfectly in love’. Sometimes my motivation to kiss him comes from a feeling of inadequacy. Kisses are not just for sex, a kiss could also mean:
- a sorry without words
- an extension of mercy towards my husband
- a reminder that we’ll get through everything together
- that I need to feel connected to him
- that I’m showing our children that our marriage comes first
- a reminder that he’s the one I’m going home with, in a room full of people
What if I’m Jealous of Happy Couples?
I know it feels unfair whenever you see couples hug and look happy together, because you want to feel embraced, too. But, that’s the thing, you don’t have to be without an embrace. Though it’s a different kind of embrace, there’s a better one available for you. It’s an embrace that I still seek today as a married woman, because no other embrace beats it — it’s the love of God. The presence of God and the assurance that you are never alone in this world surpasses any human affection you can receive.
Like being in love, experiencing salvation gives you a joy and down-right giddiness that’s hard to explain. When I met Jesus at the age of 22 I was singled. I gained a pep in my step that wasn’t there before. My new, confident walk complimented the huge smile on my face. Someone asked me one day, “Why are you smiling so hard?” I was almost at the point of laughing and I answered, “God!” It was a high that I had never experienced before in my life from any boyfriend or new fling. It was an assurance that life was beyond me and that God is absolutely real. When you invest your time in getting to know God instead of feeling jealous, you will begin to feel that connection you so desire.
Single Women Have Purpose
I know how it feels to want to be known, we all want that. But no one can know you better than God. Everything, including men, becomes less significant when we’re in God’s presence. I heard someone once say that nothing is wrong with desiring to be married but it’s wrong when you’re distracted by that desire. Don’t be so distracted by a desire to be married that you forget to grow spiritually and personally.
Being in a relationship with a person is nothing to take lightly. It takes great responsibility to care for someone the right way. You can’t properly love someone else if you do not know how to love yourself and to be loved. I want you to love yourself so much that you don’t get hot and bothered when you see a happy couple, or begin to feel unworthy when you hear a love song.
Single woman indeed have purpose because God says they do:
“But I would have you without carefulness (without worry). She that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how she may please the Lord.”
1 Corinthians 7:32
Serving God will far exceed any affection you will ever receive from a man. Men can change, but God doesn’t. In a relationship, sooner or later, you begin to see your partner’s flaws. But God’s love is everlasting and unchanging and we need that foundation of love, first. He wants to teach us everything we need to know about caring for a man’s heart (because, after all, he created it).
Single Women Are Worthy
You never know what a couple might be going through or what they went through to get where they are. Bless them, and continue focusing on yourself. You are worthy with or without a wedding ring. I love reminding you how much God loves you, right where you are. Have you read this post: it’s not your fault you want to be married?
If you are interested in salvation or if you need to re-commit, I included a prayer for you to say outloud:
“God, I recognize that I need you. Please forgive me of my sins and reveal to me the best life that you intended for me to have through Jesus Christ. I tried to do everything on my own, but now I want to surrender my life to you. Use me, teach me, transform me, and call me your own. In Jesus name, Amen.”
Thanks for reading, Gem. I have a few questions: have you ever wanted to melt in your chair when you see a couple kiss? Have you ever gone out alone to learn how to be comfortable with yourself? What love songs really make you sad?
Let me know in the comment section below.
You are worthy with or without a wedding ring,
Shawandie
G.E.M.S- Godly Women Enjoying the Magnificence of Singleness